Dessert wars
by DarkGoddess2002
Summary: Poking fun at the shipping wars. A oneshot.


A/N Don't ask me why I wrote this, I have no idea. But it won't make much sense unless you familiar with the shipping wars. See below if your are new to HP fandom or didn't care but your now curious.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, then Harry and Hermione would be together, but alas I don't.

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"Harry would you like a chocolate egg?" Ginny asked.

"Of course he doesn't, he wants a lovely piece of pumpkin pie." Hermione snapped, bumping Ginny out of the way.

Harry looked warily between the two girls. Both of them were wearing big, fake grins that were rather frightening. Each was holding out her offering. Ginny with a large homemade chocolate egg, and Hermione with a pumpkin pie.

For some reason Harry thought that something more than mere desert should mean.

"Of course he doesn't want some stinking pumpkin pie, everyone knows that chocolate is pretty and athletic and smart and popular and perfect in every possible way."

"Er," Said Harry.

Hermione scoffed. "Harry barely even knew chocolate eggs existed before sixth year. Chocolate eggs couldn't even talk in front of him without babbling like a incoherent idiot. Chocolate eggs didn't save his life in first year, and second year. Chocolate eggs didn't help rescue his godfather fro having his soul sucked out. Chocolate eggs didn't stand by him when everyone thought he was an attention seeking prat and teach him a spell that saved him from being eaten by a dragon. Chocolate eggs didn't make him stop feeling sorry for himself. Chocolate eggs didn't help him set up the DA. And Harry certainly didn't stop functioning when Chocolate eggs was hurt in the Department of Mysteries. And for the past six years chocolate eggs didn't help him with his school work!" Hermione ranted.

"Er," Said Harry.

"Oh yeah well pumpkin pie held onto Harry several times and he felt nothing!" Ginny retorted.

"Er," Said Harry.

"Well the only time that pumpkin pie held onto Harry was when they were in life-threatening situations and if he had thought 'Gee, I love it when pumpkin pie holds onto me.' It would have gotten them both killed!"

"Er," Said Harry.

"Yeah but chocolate eggs understand him. When Harry decided to break up with chocolate eggs, chocolate eggs understood."

"That's because Harry doesn't respect chocolate eggs enough to let chocolate eggs go with him on a very important mission. He thinks chocolate eggs are stupid, silly twits who doesn't know when they aren't wanted!" Hermione shrieked.

"Er," Said Harry.

"Oh yeah, well at least chocolate eggs likes the same kind of games as Harry. Harry and chocolate eggs have many things in common." Said Ginny.

"Er," Said Harry.

"Oh yes, I see, they have so much in common. They play the same stupid game, and they have both been possessed by a raving lunatic bent on world domination. I see it now, they have so much in common!" Screeched Hermione.

"Er," Said Harry.

Both girls were standing only inches apart, breathing heavy, and their desserts clenched in hand, completely ruined.

Hermione was the first to step back, holding her pie out to Harry.

"So Harry do you want this lovely pumpkin pie that is almost good for you, or smelly old chocolate filled with fatty fat that will clog your arteries and make you die sooner?"

Ginny glared at Hermione before holding out her melted mess of a chocolate egg. "Yeah Harry do you want plain, boring, pumpkin pie, or chocolate filled with- um- chocolaty goodness?"

Harry between the girls, hoping that whatever he choice would be the right one. Because Harry might not be the smartest guy in the world, but he knew better than to get o the bad side of a girl.

Looking over the girl's offerings.

The chocolate eggs, while firm and un-melted was appealing, but as soon as it melted it looked like- well something he didn't want to even think about while eating.

The Pumpkin pie however, while a little frazzled around the edge was still lovely, and appealing. Something warm and familiar.

"Um, I think I'll have a slice of the pumpkin pie." Harry said hesitantly.

Ginny let out a shriek of rage before throwing a raging temper tantrum, throwing the melted, unappealing bits of chocolate egg around while screaming profanities about anvils and the number seven.

Harry looked at Hermione and was pleased that she was smiling at him, obviously pleased about something. She cut him a huge slice of pie and put it on his plate.

"There you go, Harry, I hope you enjoy it."

Harry smiled back. "I know I will. Pumpkin pie's my favourite." Grinning at Hermione he sampled a bite of pie and nodded in approval. "Mmm, very good, I think I made the right choice."

Hermione grinned and kissed him lightly on the cheek, making Harry's stomach flip pleasantly.

"I _know_ you made the right choice."

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A/N well there you go, my tip of the hat to my fellow HHR shipmates. I recently discovered I can't eat chocolate anymore so I've decided to take this a sign that H/G is not meant to be, why? Because I want to so that's what I'm going to do.

**Confused about the chocolate eggs and the pumpkin pie?**

**HHR shippers call themselves Pumpkineers, due to one of the first Harmony fan fic's out there are based on when Harry and Hermione kissed for the first time one of them tasted like pumpkin pie. Strange I know.**

**Choco's are the H/G shippers (Boo!) they are called this because of a scene in OOTP where Harry and Ginny share one of Mrs. Weasley's homemade chocolate Easter eggs. Again it's strange.**

**A quick BTW; RHR shippers are called Heron's, I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure it's because it's a combo of Hermione and Ron's name. (Personally I call them moRon's, but I don't like Ron at all.)**

Thanks for reading and please review.

PS If anyone was intrested in my DarkHarry story please see my profile.


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